My grandma is a superhero to me, so when I heard the news that she's sick and get hospitalized, I was so shocked and kind of worried about her. Anyway, it happened about a month ago, my mom called me and told me that she's sick, my brother post it on twitter, my aunts and uncles send me messages through the blackberry messenger and all are happened at once.
Okay, tell me if you're not panicking, I was trying to calm myself by keep saying that she'll be fine, she's strong but it's not working. I just want to see her, and apparently talking to her on the phone is not really helping but making me feel worse since she sounds really weak and there is nothing that I could actually do. So, I decided to get on a plane back to Indonesia as soon as I can.
This happened on early March and I about to have my practical exam in two weeks time. I bought flight ticket to Indonesia for the next day, I asked for an absence leave for only a week and I was planning to go back after seeing her. At that time, all I think was my grandma will be okay and I can continue my study as I planned.
The weirdest thing is about the week before that I suddenly really want to go back home and have a short visit on my easter holiday. My grandma and I already planning on buying tickets for a little family trip.
But then my grandma was seriously sick and not in her good condition. The doctor keep saying all different things and all my family members were there to gather and accompany her. We're all kept monitoring her improvements every day and discussed what we're planning to do for her best results. And, we decided to bring her to Singapore to get better facilities and see her regular doctors there. My grandma asked me to accompany her and of course I said yes, since I know she really needs me even if it means I missed my exam and need to repeat the term. I don't care and I just want to be with her.
At that time, I realized that family is priority in my life despite all things that I ever said. I do care about my family and I do love them whatsoever. I spend some quality time with my mom, dad, grandma and talked about everything that happened to my life lately. It was such a great moment and it really hit me that they are the reason I live for till today. The dilemmas of failing school and being there to support is such a delicate moment for me. However, I finally made my decision and it was the hardest time in my life. When you have options, opportunities and all considerations; I tell you guys it really is not easy.
I was working and doing all my grandma jobs at the factory. This time is different, my grandma put higher expectations and hopes on me. I try to do my best and fortunately she's quite happy with my work. Importantly, I actually glad and willing for being responsible working there and I can show to everyone that I actually ready of doing this. I promise my family that I will make them proud of me and I hope I can make it true.
Now, I'm here back in Sydney ready for my new term, will be back to Indonesia in few months to finally working with my new assistant since we won't let my grandma work too hard as before. I know everyone are expecting me to go back as soon as I finished and I won't let them down. I am glad that they still give me a chance in achieving my culinary dream. Thank God that everything went well so far, my grandma is getting better and better everyday and I hope that everything will goes smoothly as it should be.
PS: I'm sorry if I ever let someone down, as I always said I would never ever hurt you in any ways. I was busy and confuse, I would never be able to explain how I felt. This experience really is the hardest time of my life. You are still and always be my dearest and sweetest friend of mine.
Btw, I forgot to mention that during these time (the ups and downs moments) there is a little dirty little secret of mine. LOL I couldn't even believe I did it in the very first place but I did it anyway. Yes, I have a little fun and will keep it discreet since some people keep reminds me not to do it again. LOL I will called this month a "March Memory" and yes everything happened for a reason. As my sister always told me, every cloud has a silver lining , oooo yes it's so so trueeee plenty of silver lining there. Love you all and lotsaaa lotsaaa kissesss from me for all the support during these moments, couldn't survive without you all.
